For Sunday Scribblings prompt #245: Limits
http://sundayscribblings.blogspot.com/
Unexpected Mile Marker
Hesitate now. We never made boundaries.
No limits on time, or kindness toward one another.
Now distance is measured in far more than miles.
You slip away, silent when I say something
you don’t wish to hear. Then don’t come near, again for days.
Hesitate now. We never made boundaries.
Don’t know what to expect and your silences feel like
rejection. Have no way of appealing to something past.
No limits on time, or kindness toward one another.
All memories say “Yes.” But, most often think I trespass,
crossing lines drawn without mutual knowing. Dawning sense,
that now, distance is measured in far more than miles.
Elizabeth Crawford 12/12/10
Elizabeth,
Your use of internal rhyme in this piece is beautiful, not at all forced as with some poets.
The ethereal feel of this stream of consciousness transported me. I’m so glad I latched onto Sunday Scribs today after a long absence!
Peace, Amy Barlow Liberatore
Hi Amy, I’ve been missing as well, but hope I am back now. Thank you for your kind and generous comments. This one was rather a huge surprise and am still a bit unsettled by its writing. That’s been happening a lot lately. The PAD Challenge seems to have had some effects that I am still finding.
Elizabeth
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Lovely, loving piece. “…silences feel like rejection.” Yes, memories say “yes.” It isn’t really clear?
Annell, I love your question on the end. I think there is a real sense of uncertainty throughout the piece, a sense of feeling, brailing oneself through the words. It certainly felt that way while I was writing it. More questions, than statements. Thanks for reading and commenting,
Elizabeth
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Interesting take on estrangement. Nicely done.
Hi Flying Monkey. I agree with your choice of words. Estrangement sounds right. Not a clean or clear break, more a sense of that reality. Thanks for stopping,
Elizabeth
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this is very beautiful and a keen observation on life x
Thank you Alice. I think what I see is my own sense of uncertainty, mixed with lots of conflicting emotions.
Elizabeth
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What a beautiful piece – you really measured out the emotion..all those well-placed repetitions and pauses really made me think and savour each word..wonderful last line as well..full of realisation as well as sadness..thank you for your visit and comment..Jae
Thank you Jae, I like the Cascade form because of that echo affect it has. It softens the entire piece somehow and gives it a haunting quality. Glad you enjoyed,
Elizabeth
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Elizabeth the last stanza says it all.
Wonderful piece.
Pamela
Pamela, this poem was a bit of a surprise to me. It came quite quickly and that might be best as if I had thought a lot about it, I could well have turned away and said, “maybe some other time.” Which is just another way of saying no, I don’t want to go there. Thanks for your comments,
Elizabeth
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Oh, you have it spot on. Kudos.
Thank you Mary B. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Elizabeth
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I like the openness and the questions! It is good!
Annell, this could easily be considered me doodling words instead of lines and patterns. The Cascade poem seems to work well for just that sort of mindset. Glad you liked it,
Elizabeth
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Touching and profound, with some lovely language. I know where you’re coming from with this: I have a non-hearer in the house!
ViV
Thank you Viv. This particular piece was the result of going through the Pad Challenge and trying to formulate some sort of manuscript from those pieces. A sorting this from that process. After dealing with it, I found myself writing even more. It takes a while to let go of what used to be. Glad you understand,
Elizabeth
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reminds me a little of Mending Wall…we do build those limits of silence, don’t we.
That we most certainly do and they can be the most difficult walls to deal with.
Thanks for stopping and commenting,
Elizabeth
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