For NaPoWriMo: Day 19 – and Surprise
Excited, wondering where all of this
will take me. Definitely away from drawn
blinds that enclose desk, meds, notebooks
and coloring pages. Box of cookies call,
but I promised myself I’d save them, like
I never do. The black and white template
is a victim of neglect, keeps begging
for colored definition I have refused to give,
because I‘m too busy scrambling words.
Dead mother tells me to add more yellow.
Doesn’t know I don’t like the color because
it reminds me of that other victim, who hated
the yellow curtains that covered her window,
flimsy fluttering refusal of escape. Possibilities
bring questions that fall like rain on sand dunes
in desert. But, I am young and don’t know
any better. Am I fooling myself when I say
that Autumn is my favorite season with all
of it’s yellowing leaves?
Lucille Clifton once said that everything, all
things are connected. I am an old woman
standing on Lucille’s bridge, closer to
darkness than daylight.
Lost in the woods, I look up to see black
wolf. He dares me to follow, so I do.
He leads me to rushing water, wending
gleefully around huge white boulders. Trees
with roots wrapped over darker stones, and
sunlight chasing shadows through a forest
of Autumn leaves. That‘s when wolf sits
on his haunches, tongue dangling between
glistening fangs. Looks back at me and says,
“I am a hungry predator.
Are you a fool?”
Elizabeth Crawford 4/19/16
Notes: The poem is a result of a step by step prompt, Brenda used in her post on Sunday. The minute I saw it, knew I had to try it. And was shocked at what came about. So, I used it as the prompt today. You can find it at http://1sojouranal.wordpress.com
under the heading NaPoWriMo: Day 19 – and Surprise.
The color yellow is associated with the sun and thus, symbolizes prosperity and health. But, all things have a shadow side, so yellow also symbolizes cowardice and fear that stops us from going where we need to go to obtain that health and the rewards of doing so.
When I was in my early thirties, I spontaneously created a Personal Mythology while attempting to put on a practice of meditation. The Mythology is mostly peopled by wild creatures that represent the pieces and parts of my personality. It wasn’t simple and easy, as each creature tested me before settling down and becoming an active part of the whole.
The wolf is a part of that mythology and did exactly what I describe here. I responded by challenging him back and he has been a faithful and very fruitful aspect of my life ever since. You can read about the creation of that mythology at 1sojournal as well. It is listed under the category of A Tiger Named Pain. I believe that Raffi (the wolf) came now to show me the next step in my journey. One I have been refusing to follow.
The image is a template I made from a line weave drawing and then colored, because I was tired of avoiding yellow. The Lucille Clifton poem referred to here is titled Come Celebrate With Me.
And of course, there is musical inspiration:
Raffi would probably growl at me for saying this. He doesn’t sound anything like Lee Ann Womack. But, this song has always embodied his message. And when I hear it, I can see him dancing and singing under a full moon, turning around to stare at me and ask that question.