Clear Sight

For the Sunday Whirl poetry prompt: wordle # 188
http://sundaywhirl.wordpress.com/

resolute, flutter, spills, forgotten, stains, pirouettes,
children, miserable, decision, neglected, cloudy, moments

DSCN4068

Clear Sight

Hearts flutter, might stutter for a moment,
when our children pirouette around rules
we have set down. Too often we forget
similar moments from our own growing
experience, block the stain of remembering
our spills from grace and other poor decisions.

Build more mistakes because of these clouded,
often neglected, misperceptions, making
ourselves and others miserable. Jamming
our paths, damming the flow of life and any
way we choose to go, when a resolute promise
to stay honestly open and aware will do.

Elizabeth Crawford  11/23/14

Notes: This seems a bit stiff and didactic to me, but I found it difficult to even find my way through the words this week. They certainly weren’t dancing and I was too tired to attempt to make them do a little more of that. My apologies.

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About 1sojournal

Loves words and language. Dances on paper to her own inner music. Loves to share and keeps several blogs to facilitate that. They can be found here: http://1sojournal.wordpress.com/ https://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/ http://claudetteellinger.wordpress.com/
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23 Responses to Clear Sight

  1. very true, and sometimes we were worse than them!

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  2. You did well, Elizabeth. I had similar problems, and resorted to prose!

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  3. totomai says:

    could be a separate poem. both stanzas can stand alone. the first one intent can be heard right away. the second may be a support to the first but, as i said earlier, could stand alone as it tackled lessons learned in life

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  4. Bastet says:

    I enjoyed your poem … and I agree the words today didn’t dance.

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  5. kaykuala h says:

    the flow of life and any
    way we choose to go, when a resolute promise
    to stay honestly open and aware will do.

    They are just as good as others, Elizabeth. It’s a great ending!

    Hank

    Like

  6. I really enjoy the sentiments.. How easy to forget our own childhood when try to set the rules again…

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  7. drpkp says:

    the image of “spills from grace” lingers….

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  8. LauraALord says:

    So very, very true. We as parents forget too often.

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  9. Sumana Roy says:

    very true and done very well…

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  10. No apology needed – life wisdom in these lines. I feel the same way, watching the young ones flail about, not any more able to heed wise advice than we were when we were young. I, too, like “spills from grace”. The phrase, not the reality, LOL.

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  11. Gillena Cox says:

    had not responded to a ‘wordle” in a long time today i did, nice reading your response

    have a good Sunday

    much love…

    Like

  12. I enjoyed the poem…the words are so true. Every parent is confronted with such moments…

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  13. glmeisner says:

    Yes, children an leave us exasperated when we forget our own childhood.

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  14. scotthastiepoet says:

    I was looking forward to my visit to your page tonight Elizabeth and certainly wasn’t disappointed – I especially enjoyed: “damming the flow of life…” A little gem for sure… With Best Wishes Scott http://www.scotthastie.com

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  15. C.C. says:

    Nothing stiff at all….the image of children pirouetting around rules….that is apt and moves with the tenor of childhood energy and exuberant noise. I also really like, “jamming…..damming”—the sounds here are great!

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  16. Mary says:

    So true – when we find that our children don’t obey our rules, so often we forget the rules we did not obey when we were young. Smiles. And there is something to be said for being honestly open…..as much as we possibly can.

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  17. oldegg says:

    Spills from grace were great lessons as a child. How else can they learn to fit in society?

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  18. humbird says:

    Love this honest poem! How we love to set rules for our children ignoring the heart’s way…. ~ Good with wordle…still working on mine…. x

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  19. the first stanza made me think about the ongoing cycle of life. how we look at the younger generation and its repeating of our own generation’s doings. it all made me smile and think: we were once children ourselves, be more understanding. 🙂

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  20. Justin Lamb says:

    Clouded misperceptions are unfortunate and, I would say, cause more problems in this world than we can count. This is a good eye opener.

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  21. To be aware and open . . . . a rare gift.

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  22. I didn’t feel the stiff; I felt the tug of war within ourselves. Goodness I am dealing with this dance right now so it was clear reminder 🙂

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  23. DELL CLOVER says:

    Wow, I thought it was great–I especially liked the pirouetting around rules–very creative/inventive use of the word.

    Like

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