Under A Jaded Sun

For The Sunday Whirl poetry prompt: Wordle #185

standing, satisfied, burn, jaded, spark, rain
way, sun, cold, grey, joy, slash

And for Poets United: Poetry Pantry #225

burning bush finala

Under A Jaded Sun

Jaded sun swiftly burns off standing
rain puddles before they are fully
formed, apparently finding peculiar
satisfied joy in its own bright fire.

Old woman looks with tired eyes
at the slowly gathering villagers,
slashes of anger in their stealthy
side-ways glances.

They will demand that she pray
again for cold greyness of a winter
that will never come. They will
destroy her when it doesn’t.

Inwardly, she steels herself for final
confrontation. She forgives them,
these lost children, knowing they know
no other way.

Elizabeth Crawford 11/2/14

Notes: The first verse came almost immediately upon seeing the word list, then I stalled, not knowing where to go. Slept on it, but that first verse stuck and created a rather strange
and eerie image. I won’t blame the words, they are only tools to be used as I choose. I am leaning toward the very real fact that I’ve recently been watching two different but rather dark TV Sci-Fi end of times series. Image was originally a digital painting put through the kaleidoscope app.


About 1sojournal

Loves words and language. Dances on paper to her own inner music. Loves to share and keeps several blogs to facilitate that. They can be found here: https://1sojournal.wordpress.com/ https://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/ http://claudetteellinger.wordpress.com/
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20 Responses to Under A Jaded Sun

  1. Another apocalyptic interpretation of the wordle words. You have written a strong poem.


  2. oldegg says:

    What a great illustration. It is real entertainment to see where the prompt words take us. Catastrophes always need a human culprit they are easier to punish than the gods or nature herself.


  3. C.C. says:

    I agree that the first verse that stuck with you definitely creates a sense of eeriness. The image you put through the kaleidescope app adds to that evocation perfectly. Great pairing.


  4. It gathers in pace and intensity and then…forgives.


  5. Jae Rose says:

    At the end of the world there are both tired eyes and hope of a new way…adapt and survive.. for that i suppose we all must be forgiven for the ‘wrongs’ we may have done..(I love those kind of TV shows too…morbidly curious..and you wonder what will turn from fiction to fact – or vice versa!)


  6. annell4 says:

    Yes, i think there seems to be a contrast in what is real and what is not…but i loved the write.


  7. drpkp says:

    You captured the sense of eeriness and the nightmarish quality of the dark sci-fi that youv’e been watching…


  8. magicalmysticalteacher says:

    The courage to forgive is often lacking in our world. This woman knows the ways of forgiveness, and it will serve her well in the end. She will go gentle into her good night, not raging at the dying of the light.

    Whirling with Galway


  9. Forgiveness is a powerful theme and tempers the eeriness of the piece giving it just the right balance.


  10. Sumana Roy says:

    “apparently finding peculiar / satisfied joy in its own bright fire.”…power is like that…love the images you’ve created…


  11. brian miller says:

    the last lines…forgiving them, for they know not…
    that was my fav part…

    what power there is in forgiveness….


  12. i like that part about forgiveness, very strong.


  13. Yes, I was thinking “end times” as I read. Powerful imagery, Elizabeth. A great plot here for further use!


  14. ZQ says:

    Wow! That was done with great passing words.


  15. Mary says:

    Whew, praying for the cold greyness of winter is an interesting concept for someone who would rather pray for a mild and sunny winter. And as for the ending..and the children who know no other way…so true. All have to learn lessons for themselves. The older generation often things they can teach them, but…it so often does not work.


  16. forgiveness is a power beyond anything…


  17. Bastet says:

    Ah … a great metaphor of how we all expect someone else to solve our problems … good one.


  18. Forgiveness. A thought provoking poem.


  19. Loved the ending, and the theme of forgiveness.


  20. G L Meisner says:

    A sun whose seen so much it doesn’t care any more. What an idea to start on.


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