Rain Wishing

For Poets United Verse First poetry prompt: Edit To Elevate

And For We Write Poems poetry prompt #169:Dangerous Poems


Rain Wishing

Am wishing for a hard rain,
pounding against concrete patio,
darkling sky sounding a hint of disaster.

Not soft swishing whisper, which fails
to be heard without studied concentration,
or light dance steps come and gone in a flash.

No momentary glitter in a pot that never fills.
Small puddles swiftly growing stagnant. Thickening
crust becoming just more detritus.

Am longing for a really harsh rain
that will ruthlessly scrub away, methodically destroy,
remains of unforgiven stains from all those other yesterdays.

Elizabeth Crawford  8/14/13

Notes: Read both prompts back to back. Both were about editing, using different language than the usual, making the words count, perhaps saying things never said before. For whatever reason, after reading them, my first thought was about rain, hard rain that cleanses, perhaps allowing new beginnings.

About 1sojournal

Loves words and language. Dances on paper to her own inner music. Loves to share and keeps several blogs to facilitate that. They can be found here: https://1sojournal.wordpress.com/ https://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/ http://claudetteellinger.wordpress.com/
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16 Responses to Rain Wishing

  1. I recently read a haiku with the same feeling
    it’s true rain cleanses symbolically and in reality
    those hot summer days need some cleansing


  2. julespaige says:

    While there maybe some dangerous aspects of a really good hard rain within strong storm – like the ones that knock down power poles…it is also true that after a really good long soak of rain the dry desert explodes in blooms. That’s what this piece reminds me of. Wanting to see the life renewed after the threat has passed. As you say ‘allowing for new beginnings.’

    Thanks for visiting ‘Preamble’. It is true I believe that some are indeed afraid of success…
    We’ll get there at the right time, when that time is right for us 🙂
    Thanks for the link!


  3. Sherry Marr says:

    I absolutely love this poem. Especially the rain that cleanses stains “from all those other yesterdays”. The rain hit here today, and is welcome.


  4. WabiSabi says:

    I am in awe of how you carried your metaphor (strongly) through three and 1/2 verses ending with a powerful and inspired punch.


  5. I love “darkling sky” that is so cool…this has a great balance of nature and emotion…very stirring. Beautiful. Thank you for the link Elizabeth and your visit. 🙂


  6. Laurie Kolp says:

    Wow… great contrast b/t stanza 1 and 2…I love the “w” sounds throughout. The ending blew me away, Elizabeth.


  7. Irene says:

    I wish for rain without thunder.


  8. Anne Viva says:

    I loved the “darkling sky” and the dance steps that go off in a flash. It made me think of thunder and lightning and the hope of “redemption from the remains of unforgiven sins”. That last, really struck me between the eyes! I will be back to read more as I find a melancholic element in your work that appeals to me deeply. Thank you for writing nice stuff appeals to the senses. 🙂


  9. Beautiful writing, Elizabeth. I loved the last stanza, especially these lines:

    ‘ …that will ruthlessly scrub away, methodically destroy,
    remains of unforgiven stains from all those other yesterdays.’


  10. aprille says:

    We’ve just had that rain, thank goodness. And it looks like there is more on the way to scrub away our daft neighbours use of jeyes fluid with is burning our lungs with methanol and phenol. Ourgt to be banned. Sorry .. I am still seething about their unforgiven stains 🙂
    Loved your words.


  11. I love the metaphor–rain as cleansing the past away. What an assertive voice, too, determined to move forward! 🙂


  12. Snakypoet (Rosemary Nissen-Wade) says:

    I like the imagery!


  13. kelvin s.m. says:

    …i love rain water when it is not too harsh on. trees and birds and people like what &/or how they are today here in my world… but your words are beautiful & i loved it… smiles…


  14. Suzy says:

    We had a pounding harsh rain yesterday. But figuratively speaking, yes sometimes we need to harshly scrub some memories of yesteryears to move on renewed. Nice one.
    Dropping by from Verse First.


  15. Am longing for a really harsh rain
    that will ruthlessly scrub away, methodically destroy,
    remains of unforgiven stains from all those other yesterdays.

    Oh this is lovely! So bittersweet and so lovely.


  16. Susan Chast says:

    Visiting after seeing this poem at Poets United today. I so enjoyed the images of types of rain and the one longed for that is so transforming, freeing, powerful.. Here, reading again, I see the parallel of the torrent and a thorough session of revision. I admire the thorough trimming of this poem to its essential beauty–stains all gone. Moments of memory, now and perhaps later are also like that.


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