Rewritten Blues

For The Sunday Whirl poetry prompt: Wordle #94
http://sundaywhirl.wordpress.com/

wordle #94

The Rewritten Blues

Wish writing this poem
wasn’t a miserable bust,
already aware it will be
quite a fuss, cause
this poet (like so many
others) doesn’t understand
when enough is enough.

Should be able to swat
these words straight,
prove a deep interest
without cutting bait,
but words will go where
they want to go, figuring
it’s fashionable to be a bit late.

Good thing this poet comes
from a long patient clan,
already knew, long before
she even began, that this
bluesy little poem would
have to be revamped, not once,
but several times over again.

Elizabeth Crawford  2/3/13

Notes: Hadn’t a clue what to do with these wordle words. Went looking for a possible syllabic poetic form to attempt putting them into. Found another one that tickled my fancy, and gave me an idea of where I might go with them. The form is called Blues Poems. You can find an explanation of the form here:
http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/5768

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About 1sojournal

Loves words and language. Dances on paper to her own inner music. Loves to share and keeps several blogs to facilitate that. They can be found here: http://1sojournal.wordpress.com/ https://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/ http://claudetteellinger.wordpress.com/
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17 Responses to Rewritten Blues

  1. vivinfrance says:

    Wow you sure knocked that one on its head! I’m off to look at Blues poetry.

    I liked it because it isn’t about form or structure, but about content and context. I have no idea if I even came close, but I certainly did enjoy the challenge. Thanks Viv,

    Elizabeth

    Like

  2. Stan Ski says:

    Woke up this morning… and just realised it was nowhere near early enough!

    Lol, Stan, I feel that way almost every time I wake up,

    Elizabeth

    Like

  3. Such a great, fun poem! Will have to check out Blues Poems – thanks for sharing!

    Your welcome, Robyn, and yes it was a lot of fun,

    Elizabeth

    Like

  4. Jae Rose says:

    Like a good blues song i leave feeling cheerful..crisp words enjoyed slowly..a perfect blend..

    Thanks Jae, I used to sing the blues and enjoyed doing so, now I’ll have to settle for doing that on paper.

    Elizabeth

    Like

  5. barbara_y says:

    Zing!

    Thanks Barbara, and right backatcha!

    Elizabeth

    Like

  6. drpkp says:

    Oooh – nice spin on the poem – bluesy – and I’ll remember that “swat” all day long

    So will I Pearl, for very different reasons. I get the list via email and write the words down in a small notebook. The last word was sweet, but, for whatever reason, I wrote swat and proceeded on my merry way. When I realized what I had done, I had already committed myself to the swat and didn’t want to change it. Then forgot all about the sweet and posted. It’ll have to stand, but it will make me laugh and shake my head, every time I read it. Thanks for the comment,

    Elizabeth

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  7. Mr. Walker says:

    Elizabeth, I like the form. I, too, will have to go off to explore that one. And “swat / these words straight” – love that, and completely identify with it. And the voice of the speaker – that conversational tone – make it an enjoyable read.

    Richard

    Thanks Richard, I hope you read my response to Pearl. The mind does some wonderful tricks. I really like the swat as well, lol. Some accidents are incredibly wonderful gifts.

    Elizabeth

    Like

  8. anl4 says:

    This is a delight! Fun to read!

    Thanks Annell, really liked your second piece today,

    Elizabeth

    Like

  9. JulesPaige says:

    Thanks for sharing a new form. I’ll have to have a look at that. I posted my links in the reply section as Mr. Linky’s change seemed intimidating…but I may try there next week.
    My non-story verse is here:
    http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2013/02/sw94-judgement.html

    Sometimes the blues are a good song to sing. Then we get to brighten up again 🙂

    I agree Jules, sometimes the blues are perfect and suit in a way nothing esle would. Thanks for stopping in,

    Elizabeth

    Like

  10. Sherry Marr says:

    I so enjoy your words going where they want to go!!!!

    Or, like the raven (shapeshifter) become totally different words, lol. Thanks my friend,

    Elizabeth

    Like

  11. zongrik says:

    nice bluesy quality to this

    hades gate

    Thanks for stopping and commenting Zonqrik,

    Elizabeth

    Like

  12. Old Egg says:

    When is enough for a poet? It continues to pour out. As for the the revamping, it surely is fine tuning. A very amusing piece.

    Thank you Old Egg, good to see you at the whirl. I think a poet might hit that enough place, but the words will come and kick him/her in the butt and it all starts up again,

    Elizabeth

    Like

  13. brenda w says:

    I like the rhythm. Talking about writing always helps me forage through the unknown. Well done!

    I used to tell my students, “If you can’t think of anything to write about, then write about writing.” Have you noticed how many of my wordle attempts end up being about writing? Lol, thanks Brenda, for everything you do,

    Elizabeth

    Like

  14. Love it Elizabeth. Now I have to go research blues poetry. 🙂 I found the words hard to work with too, and bust and figure are the chunkiest ones in my attempt. I think your idea of putting the words in a different voice is the best idea.

    Thank you Veronica, and I didn’t find your piece chunky at all. My first response to most wordle lists is “What the hell?” Then I keep the list close to me and just look at them periodically. Eventually I catch something in a few of them and that’s when the fun begins.

    Elizabeth

    Like

  15. Beautifully written. Thank you for stopping by my blog as well.

    You are welcome Kiana, and so glad you liked it,

    Elizabeth

    Like

  16. Pamela says:

    Love this form, Elizabeth, you did a smash up job with these words. I had a horrible time with them and ended up cutting a couple and changing their tenses.

    Pamela

    I had a struggle, just couldn’t seem to put anything together. Then found the form and it immediately started humming in my ear. Love it when that happens. Thanks for the comments, and I found no evidence of struggle with your piece, Pamela, it was beautiful as always,

    Elizabeth

    Like

  17. That was like word bowling. Take them down one at a time! Nicely done Elizabeth!

    Like

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