After

For The Sunday Whirl: Wordle #67
http://sundaywhirl.wordpress.com/

After

frenzied
subliminal
attack, rough
balled-up life
falls into
strange robust
channel,

waywardly
settles.

Elizabeth Crawford 7/29/12

Notes: The prompt, this past week at We Write Poems, was to write a twelve word poem, no more, no less, title optional. Everyone got a bit hooked on the exercise and there were some rather stunning pieces to read.  You can find them here:
http://wewritepoems.wordpress.com/2012/07/25/prompt-115-its-post-your-poems-day/

When I got the wordle list, I immediately wondered if I could do the same with them. Almost managed it, but had to add one word for context, while the title became first word of the poem. Still satisfying.

By the time I was finished, I was hearing a song in my head. You can listen to it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1wEj6ow3cQ

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About 1sojournal

Loves words and language. Dances on paper to her own inner music. Loves to share and keeps several blogs to facilitate that. They can be found here: http://1sojournal.wordpress.com/ https://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/ http://claudetteellinger.wordpress.com/
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18 Responses to After

  1. vivinfrance says:

    This shows extraordinary skill. I’m a great believer in minimalism in poetry, as you know, and you have honed it to a fine art.

    Thank you much for your generous words, Viv, but I can’t take all the credit. The twelve word prompt came from Neil and he unleashed some wonderfully focused and (like I said) stunning poetry. I just got caught up in the frenzy and this was the result. Who knows if it will ever happen again, lol.

    Elizabeth

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  2. Irene says:

    You’re still on a roll Elizabeth, yay! That rough balled-up life indeed.

    Irene, thought you’d appreciate it. The twelfth of Neil might have a place in the future lexicon. I tried this several ways, starting with a wayward life, and ended up here. Love it when that happens. Only realized afterward that it just might be a bit biographical, lol.

    Elizabeth

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  3. nan says:

    Wow – super job. “Frenzied subliminal attack” made me think…

    Nan, the word sublime had me stumped for a while until I looked up subliminal, and realized the two words had the exact same roots. Love the dictionary! And I am more than a little familiar with those subliminal attacks. Glad it made you think, it certainly had me entertained for several hours, and more than a few rearrangements,

    Elizabeth

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  4. And it all makes perfect sense too. Yes, you nailed it Elizabeth. Well done!

    Thank you Daydreamer, I wasn’t real sure about the ‘making sense’ until I hit on this version. I do actually enjoy the whole challenge of working the words like a jigsaw puzzle until they speak clearly to me. This was a happy outcome,

    Elizabeth

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  5. brenda w says:

    I love this, Elizabeth, and can’t believe you pulled it off! Okay, yeah I can. Brilliant piece. This is fabulous due in part to its brevity. Let me go admire it one more time. 😉 Did it…love the last two words…

    Lol, Brenda. I rewrote this so many times, and each time with a different ending. When I realized I could drop the wayward into the conclusion, it felt good and right. I have seldom settled smoothly into anything in my life, usually swinging back and forward and sideways for a time, until I get comfortable. That made waywardly the right choice. Thanks for stopping in, especially on your vacation. Did you know that I am in a neighboring state? I do love Montana, and am quite sure you might enjoy Wisconsin,

    Elizabeth

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  6. anl4 says:

    Now that is truly cutting out what is not needed… I haven’t gotten to twelve, but I’m trying to cut out what I don’t need…I love it.

    So do I Annell. I used to dream (as many poets do) of writing an epic poem (anything that went beyond one page, lol). However, when I finally achieved it (it took years), I thought perhaps I had stretched myself too much and just gotten windy. I think that is a hidden trap in blogland. The fear that now that we actually have an audience, we need to bury them in verbosity? Many times, obliterating the really fine and good things we have to say with too many words. This little exercise, from Neil’s prompt, certainly opened a lot of eyes, including my own. Freedom is a wonderful thing, but all too often we forget that any and all freedoms come with a responsibility attached. This has all been a learning experience for me, and I plan on trying it again and again. Thanks so much for your encouragement,

    Elizabeth

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  7. What a feat!!! Never in a million years could I manage it. Well done, kiddo!

    Sherry, it will come when you are ready for it. You can do it, I think we both know that. It really is worth trying, simply because it forces a focused attention, but in that focus there is a weird sort of expansiveness. Hard to explain, maybe you just have to do it. I am obviously enjoying it, perhaps you will as well. Thanks for stopping by my friend,

    Elizabeth

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  8. Marianne says:

    This is positively brilliant! I love what you came up with!

    Thanks Marianne, but it really was as simple as my notes. I wanted to try the twelve word poem again. It took several stabs, rewriting and rearranging, but it finally came together for me. And I’m so glad it did,

    Elizabeth

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  9. Laurie Kolp says:

    Wow… what a challenge to write such a succinct poem with the wordle words. I might have to try that.

    Oh Laurie, I hope you and others do try it. It is quite a learning experience. Thanks for your generous words,

    ELizabeth

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  10. I love the way the words tumble together. Works really well.

    Annette, I normally use internal rhyme with my poetry. The wordle words usually supply some aspect of that that I can use. So I wasn’t worried about that element. I was worried more about making some kind of clear sense out of the whole. Glad I kept trying,

    Elizabeth

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  11. margo roby says:

    Not only does the poem work, but it says a mouthful, too. Very satisfying, Elizabeth [and the added word, could have been left out, but does sound better in].

    Thank you Margo. I did try it without the added word and knew it would work. But, as I’ve already said, my major worry was about making clear sense, so the added word went in. It was ever only an experiment, so I could break whatever silly rules I might have confured up, lol.

    Elizabeth

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  12. Misky says:

    I so admire your ability to cut these Wordles to the quick. Well done.

    Oh, I really like that, thank you. Your comment goes to the kudo box, Misky.

    Elizabeth

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  13. seingraham says:

    This is very impressive Elizabeth … the ability to weave something so beautiful so succinctly; I am in awe! Thanks for dropping by my blog btw – I really appreciate it.

    Another trip to the kudo box, thank you Seingraham. I do love playing with words and the wordles often make me think of word games. I appreciate your visit, as well.

    Elizabeth

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  14. Jae Rose says:

    very clever..am never brave enough to try this prompt site..you make it look so easy..a knife through butter..jae

    Lol, and if these words were toast, they’d be nothing but a loose pile of crumbs, because I must have rewritten them at least a dozen times. And no, it is seldom easy. When I first tried the wordles, I held a great deal of angst, believing that it was far more “appropriate” to choose ones own words, than to use those of another. What a fool, I was. The wordles force us outside the comfy limits of our own chosen little box, thus they can be dangerous, challenging, extremely educational, fun, frustrating, you name it. The real challenge is bringing these twelve words home, every week, owning them, and then letting them lead you wherever they will, while still maintaining your own signiture voice. Nope, it ain’t easy.

    And you, dear Jae, have never lacked for bravery. I personally believe you are one of the bravest among us. Who knows, you might like making butter.

    Thanks for seeking me out and hope you try the wordles, at least once,

    Elizabeth

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  15. Carol Steel says:

    I know I’m reading something really great when I feel instant envy. Great write. Thank you.

    Thank you Carol for the compliment every poet dreams of hearing from another writer. Another trip to the kudo box. I loved your pinball metaphor and will probably walk around for several days hearing “That deaf, dumb, and blind kid, sure plays a mean pinball…”

    Elizabeth

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  16. JulesPaige says:

    What a blast from the past…But then I think we have established that we are close enough to have enjoyed similar music. I’m glad you posted your 12 words here. I haven’t gotten back to that prompt site yet to see all of the overflow of creative outpouring. I thought I had gotten back to you.
    Did you have a different entry? It is interesting how we define our days. The channels or groves we put ourselves in. I was just visiting another friend who posted the lyrics of one of the Beatles songs featured on the White album. “Black bird fly…” but I had to sing it to myself!

    I think once I was more wayward than I am…and yet perhaps I am wayward still. I shall ‘carry on.’

    Thanks for your visit to my wordle and my twelve worder for We Write Poems.

    Hi Jules,

    yes I did post my twelve worder in the post before this one, and that’s the one you visited. I’m going to do some more twelve worders (maybe thirteen) on my other site http://1sojournal.wordpress.com/ and combine them with music that has influenced me (speaking of blasts from the past, lol). And I perfectly understand being wayward, have been all of my life, always a bit different, following my own tangents. Makes for some great stories, yes?

    Elizabeth

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  17. pamela says:

    Beautifully done, Elizabeth. I love conciseness. It does flow perfectly. Sorry, I am late coming round to read, but my back is still on the mend. My two dislocated cervical vertebrae have managed now to send a horrible pain straight into my sciatic nerve. Needless to say, sitting at the computer for any length of time is torture! I hope you have a nice week.

    Pamela

    Pamela, thank you much, but you had best stay away from that puter chair for a while. I have a pinched nerve at the base of my spine, and started dealing with arthritis pain there when I was seventeen. There are times when I simply can’t find any place that’s comfortable, let alone pain free.

    My plan is to do more of these short pieces, maybe with some music. Would you be inteested, my friend?

    Elizabeth

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  18. pamela says:

    Hi Elizabeth, are you thinking of a weekly prompt site? I think I would enjoy it. Send me more details via email. The majority of my writing is now being done from the sofa in my journal. However, yesterday was the first day in some time that I woke without pain. Also, today, I feel good, but I know it can be deceptive. This problem started about six months ago, and got progressively worse.

    Finally, I went to the hospital and had an x-ray of my neck, which revealed the source of the problem. Yesterday was my last day of using the neck brace. For now I seem to feel good, but who knows with these things, right?

    Send an email, my friend,

    Pamela

    Like

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