A Jeremiah Lament

For The Sunday Whirl: Wordle #16
http://sundaywhirl.wordpress.com/

A Jeremiah Lament

Tender morning swept aside
while scrawling notes that crawl
across page like so many scars.

Rusty joints protest meandering
walk through riddled memories
cemented in time best forgotten.

Know that even ancient prophets:
Isaiah, Jeremiah, sometimes
complained against torment in wordle

of words hurtled from heaven. Would
have preferred to relax in warming sun,
let duty slip away, like evaporating water.

Elizabeth Crawfordย  8/7/11

Process Notes: This one was difficult. I came to poetry through the prophets of the Old Testament, specifically, the two mentioned in the poem. Thus, I have long believed that today’s poets are yesterday’s prophets. There was a time when I fancied myself as Isaiah with his beautiful book of tender, loving promises. However, reality let me know I am far more Jeremiah, standing in the desert with one hand shielding his eyes as he looks up to heaven and yells, “What? You want me to say this out loud?”

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About 1sojournal

Loves words and language. Dances on paper to her own inner music. Loves to share and keeps several blogs to facilitate that. They can be found here: http://1sojournal.wordpress.com/ https://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/ http://claudetteellinger.wordpress.com/
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15 Responses to A Jeremiah Lament

  1. brenda w says:

    Ha! Your process notes made me laugh. Thank you for sharing yourself with us, Elizabeth. I love the prophets you brought to the forefront this week, and your idea that poets are prophets. Your lament for the wordle demonstrates your love for words. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Brenda, although I had some difficulty with this one, I also had some fun by using the word wordle and suggesting that you were sitting on your Montana mountain tossing these messages out will nilly to those of us who live on the lower plains. No offense intended, but that image helped me get through the writing, lol. Thanks for enjoying it,

    Elizabeth

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  2. pamelasayers says:

    Elizabeth, I love the opening stanza, but this is the part that really spoke to me;
    “Would have preferred to relax in warming sun,
    let duty slip away, like evaporating water.”
    Excellently wordled poem, lady. I hope all is well with you. I wasn’t round most of last week. We took a break from life’s madness and visited the coast. The sun and the ocean have done me a world of good. Now, off to write to the prompt.

    Pamela

    Pamela, glad you liked the poem, but even more so that you got away for a much needed break. I took an at-home vacation this past week and may even continue it this week, lol. Thanks for the comments,

    Elizabeth

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  3. anl4 says:

    Love your response to the wordle! Great write!

    Thanks Annell, I liked yours as well. Keep sweeping,

    Elizabeth

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  4. great response to the prompt

    Thank you Isabel, glad you enjoyed it,

    Elizabeth

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  5. Irene says:

    Greatly chimed with me, that line Pamela pointed out. Thanks Elizabeth for one part of the answer to “why write?” The idea of poets as prophets–some great poet said that, I forget who–but I believe there is greatness in not being great. That’s the thought I woke up with and so your poem and I felt so relieved that you’re able to put the great Biblical prophets “against torment in a wordle”. As Neil says, break all the rules.

    Well Irene, the Bible is great at showing us the bumps and wrinkles of all those great individuals. We must remember that before they were prophets, they were just human beings, and most of them rejected the invitation to speak the first time around. They used mnemonic acts to protray and interpret the words they were given. Think about that the next time you do a wordle and count all of us lucky to be here now and merely poets. I do, lol,

    Elizabeth

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  6. pmwanken says:

    Elizabeth…I loved that you used the word “wordle” in your piece! ๐Ÿ™‚ I also thoroughly enjoyed the process notes. Especially in light of having been in discussion ABOUT “process notes” the past few days. ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for sharing this piece with us.

    ~Paula

    Paula, I taught adult Bible Studay before I went to college and taught writing. I was having a hard time fitting the word “prophets” into the poem, then saw the connection between the wordles and those ancient speakers of words. And I also like sharing how I got to the poem and how the poem wanted to be written. The discussion on process notes was clear in my head when I wrote them. Thanks for seeing that and understanding,

    Elizabeth

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  7. Wow…. wonderful use of the wordle words. I’m glad you didn’t let duty slip away and that it led you to produce this.

    So am I ddt, it was a message I needed to hear, especially now and led me to do something I haven’t even considered for years. Thanks for the compliments,

    Elizabeth

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  8. Mary says:

    Elizabeth, I do think that poets are prophets. A lovely completion here. I’m definitely more familiar with Isaiah than Jeremiah. Your poem makes me want to check out Jeremiah!

    Mary, Jeremiah had physical problems speaking. At one point he got frustrated and accused God of being false, like a brook with waters that fail. God came back very quickly and told him if he’d stop his whining, He would put Jeremiah in a wider place and make him the spokesperson to His people. I love what that says about Jeremiah and his honesty. More so what it says about God’s immediate acceptance of human frailties, but most of all what it says about that relationship. I have always found comfort in those passages. And because of these particular words what it says to me in my current circumstances. Glad you enjoyed it,

    Elizabeth

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  9. “torment in wordle of words hurtled from heaven” aroused a cheer in me. Lately I’ve been enjoying wordling, but not this week! Your poem is good, and your process notes are BRILLIANT!

    Thank you so much Viv. My process notes are always a bit of a surprise to me. I appreciate the Brilliant, even though they were written with that image of Brenda as mountain top warrior goddess throwing pointed spears at we lowly common poets, lol. I still like that image. And sometimes the wordles are opportunities to sheer frustration to me. Just means I have to listen more closely and look for that ‘wider’ place.

    Elizabeth

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  10. Elizabeth, I loved the poem so much and I ADORE the process notes. I can just SEE you as Jeremiah, looking up to heaven and saying that. Too hilarious! Yes do, please, keeping saying all of it out loud! You made my day today.

    Sherry, Jeremiah was a woeful poet and he often didn’t bring good news. As far as saying it all out loud, not possible. Some things should always remain a mystery and everyone needs just a few secrets my friend. Thanks,

    Elizabeth

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  11. Susannah says:

    I echo Vivs comment, I really enjoyed your poem but loved your process notes! ๐Ÿ™‚
    The wordle words almost wrote themselves for me this week.

    Thanks Susannah, I’m fairly certain they would have done something similar for me if I hadn’t gotten into a knock down drag out with the prophets, lol. Good thing they have such resilience and lasting power.

    Elizabeth

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  12. Mike Patrick says:

    This was the first time I’ve seen ‘wordle’ used in a poem. That it happens to be a poem I really enjoy is just gravy. The process notes not only allow me insight into a fellow poet, they teach. Time for me to do a little Biblical review.

    Mike, the prophets have an awful lot to say about poetry and how it works. They didn’t write those words, they acted them out, meaning they were perhaps some of the first sense imagery specialists, and they were not always loved by their people. It was far from the easiest profession. Being chosen comes with a high price. Really glad you liked the poem and notes,

    Elizabeth

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  13. Traci B says:

    Terrific poem, Elizabeth. I also have felt like Jeremiah at times; your process notes about that made me LOL. I love the use of “wordle” in the poem, too; I imagine the OT prophets probably did feel much like we do sometimes with these word bundles Brenda sends us. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Traci, I keep seeing Brenda up there on her mountain in Montana, throwing down these bundles and cackling the entire time. She does such a terrific job and seems to have a real knack for choosing just the right ones. Glad you enjoyed the poem and I loved putting that word ‘wordle’ into the poem. It came as one complete line and made me cackle right along with Brenda,

    Elizabeth

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  14. Renee Espriu says:

    I’m sure I agree with you and Jeremiah! Sometimes to just leave it all behind for only a moment is a blessing in itself. Well written!

    Ahh Renee, I find that taking a break can be a definite temptation to leaving it all together. Too long, and it is hard to get back into. Yet, the drive is always there to get it on the page so it won’t be lost in whirl of present moments. Contrary creature, I am.

    Elizabeth

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  15. Donna Kiser says:

    Elizabeth, I adore how you use Biblical references and people without being overtly religious, and referring it all back to daily life. Exactly how it was meant to be. Thank you for the reminder.
    dk

    Glad you enjoyed it Donna. The Bible is full of parables which are really extended metaphor. It has always made sense to use those words in just such a fashion. Many of those characters are very real to me, because I can see them all around me.

    Elizabeth

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