Revelation II

For Sunday Whirl poetry prompt: Wordle 15
http://sundaywhirl.wordpress.com/

Revelation II

Fortress pierced by unholy vision,
voices from past come to rattle
years of carefully constructed comfort.
Fear pierces being like jagged glass
splinters, arrows hurtled across
deep moat of forgetting.

Tells herself that image is no more
than stray weed daring to sprout
in well-tended garden. Meant
to be plucked, thrust away on compost
heap, to swiftly dry and shrivel.

But, jangled nerves tangle, refuse
order to move, and stillness prevails
as walls of denial tumble, crumble
around her.

Elizabeth Crawford  7/31/11

Process Notes: Again, the words seemed to choose partners of their own accord, and I followed the path of least resistance. Was not really aware, until I finished, that this piece definitely seems to echo, or move from last week’s Revelation, thus the title.

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About 1sojournal

Loves words and language. Dances on paper to her own inner music. Loves to share and keeps several blogs to facilitate that. They can be found here: http://1sojournal.wordpress.com/ https://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/ http://claudetteellinger.wordpress.com/
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13 Responses to Revelation II

  1. Wow, this one says a lot, Elizabeth. “as walls of denial tumble around her”. I relate to the “:carefully constructed comfort” and know how little it takes to pull those walls down. Great writing.

    Thanks Sherry, the older I get, the more thin those walls become, and all carefully constructed comfort has a short shelf life.

    Elizabeth

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  2. Mike Patrick says:

    Revelation II was a great title, but “Walls of Denial” would work too. Each stanza pointed that way.

    Mike, I would agree but the sort of next step feeling of this piece after last week’s sort of won out. Thanks for the suggestion,

    Elizabeth

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  3. brenda w says:

    Elizabeth, this is wonderful! I love “as walls of denial tumble around her,” too. I’ve felt the jagged of pierce of fear a couple times, and am glad when it abates. Your wordle rocks.

    Thank you very much Brenda, for the comment and the words. You have a very uncanny way of picking and choosing the best ones possible,

    Elizabeth

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  4. Laurie Kolp says:

    Love this, Elizabeth… especially the second stanza.

    And I love it when these word puzzles come together and make sense of personal experience and truth. Thanks for visiting Laurie and for your generous words,

    Elizabeth

    Like

  5. Mary says:

    Strong and intense, Elizabeth. No happy ending here, but sometimes life’s like that.

    Mary, I once believed that poetry had to be beautiful and find a happy ending. I’m so glad I finally grew up. Hope you are doing okay today and pamper yourself, please,

    Elizabeth

    Like

  6. Irene says:

    Great lines there. “Walls of denial”, “deep moat of forgetting”..

    Like

  7. One of your best, Elizabeth, piercing my consciousness from all sides. I know what you mean about wordle pairs: my starting point is usually a list of the words, but this time they all came naturally in pairs.

    Like

  8. Susannah says:

    Oh Elizabeth, this is another one of those powerful ones that deeply resonates with me.

    “Fortress pierced by unholy vision,
    voices from past come to rattle
    years of carefully constructed comfort.”

    As soon as I read those words, I was inside a description of something I identified with.

    The second verse, is the voice of reason and wisdom. And in the final stanza I love the use of ‘jangled and tangle’ and ‘tumble and crumble’ – very effective.

    Love this one Elizabeth!

    Like

  9. anl4 says:

    A wonderful use of the wordle!

    Like

  10. TheMsLvh says:

    Very powerful words. Loved this piece of work.
    Fear pierces being like jagged glass
    splinters, arrows hurtled across
    deep moat of forgetting.

    Wow!

    Like

  11. Very, very deep and intense.

    Like

  12. Tilly Bud says:

    Some excellent pairings, Elizabeth. I love that it’s a follow-on poem.

    Like

  13. Elizabeth, I’ve tried three times to leave a comment on your “PROMPTS” prompt on your other blog, but it disappears each time. Possibly in your spam box?

    Like

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