Somewhere In The Night

For Sunday Whirl poetry prompt: Wordle #13
http://sundaywhirl.wordpress.com/

Somewhere In The Night

Emerald bones of trumpet vine
flap from rail of deserted balcony,
high above evening void,
where silenced cars sleep
in pantomime of perfect slumber.

Dried leaves whisper in ominous
rhythm, as they brush against
rough concrete, jostled by illusion
of divine breath releasing celestial
message, heard, observed
by no one.

Elizabeth Crawford 7/17/11

Process Notes: As happens on occasion, some of the words simply connect with others, even as I am writing out the list. The first verse was already whispering in my ear before I finished. The second stanza came with a bit more difficulty, because ominous and divine illusion really wanted to stay together, and none of them wanted to be jostled by, or have anything to do with observe or that pink border around them. Sorry Brenda.

Advertisements

About 1sojournal

Loves words and language. Dances on paper to her own inner music. Loves to share and keeps several blogs to facilitate that. They can be found here: http://1sojournal.wordpress.com/ https://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/ http://claudetteellinger.wordpress.com/
This entry was posted in Somewhere In The Night and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Somewhere In The Night

  1. Irene says:

    A meditative piece, and the celestial feeling is palpable!

    Interesting Irene, I thought it was a bit on the dark side, but liked the way it fell together, so went with it. Thanks for showing me otherwise,

    Elizabeth

    Like

  2. Mary says:

    I like the idea of divine breath releasing a celestial message that is heard by no one, Elizabeth. Seems likely sometimes!

    More often then not, maybe? Thanks Mary, I think most of us might be surprised at the number of those messages whirling around us at most times,

    Elizabeth

    Like

  3. Oh I love what you did with this……amazing! And I enjoyed your process notes as much as the poem:)

    Congratulations on trying the wordle and doing it so successfully, Sherry. Isn’t that a good feeling? The process notes came about because the words were still fighting for place and wouldn’t sit down and behave. Lol, sometimes that happens,

    Elizabeth

    Like

  4. Elizabeth, this is beautiful. I love the first two lines, they pull the reader in. These words seem to be challenging to me. You did a lovely poem with them.

    Pamela

    And I still hear bits of that slow waltz you created with them, even if they were a challenge. Thanks Pamela for your always encouraging words,

    Elizabeth

    Like

  5. anl4 says:

    This is lovely and has a sense of “night time.”

    Actually Annell, I was thinking three-thirty or four in the morning. Deep night time for many. Thanks for stopping in and for your continued support,

    Elizabeth

    Like

  6. fav line “Dried leaves whisper in ominous
    rhythm” . great write

    Hi Isabel and glad you enjoyed,

    Elizabeth

    Like

  7. Traci B says:

    Excellent picture you’ve created here; I love the line about the silenced cars sleeping in a pantomime of perfect slumber. The process notes were good too, and I had to grin at that bit about the pink border (which I happen to like, but then I’m fond of that color combo). 🙂

    Traci, I was a teen-ager through much of the sixties when the color combo was very popular, and I didn’t like it then either, lol. And I liked the line about the sleeping cars as well. The process notes were a bit of further playing with the words and the ones that gave me a problem. Thanks for stopping and glad you enjoyed,

    Elizabeth

    Like

  8. Susannah says:

    I enjoyed this Elizabeth and particularly liked the ending.

    Thanks Susannah, this one was sort of fun because the words, at least some of them, wanted to run off and get married immediately. But, true to form, some relationships are not made in heaven, lol.

    Elizabeth

    Like

  9. margo roby says:

    I keep rereading the poem and finding new things, but I think what I like the most is the sense you have created of high and low, of being up with the flapping vine and down near the concrete with the leaves [which I now realise can be the trumpet vine leaves. Ah well.]. The imagery gives me a sense of immediacy, of being there.

    margo

    Margo, I had a distinct perspective of the image, right from the beginning. I was back by some trees, hidden in the sadows, looking up at the balcony but still able to hear the rustle of the leaves. And wondered if the people, perhaps sleeping downstairs, would be disturbed by that sound, brushing back and forth. I love how poetry allows us to teleport to any angle we choose. Thanks for the comments,

    Elizabeth

    Like

  10. Mike Patrick says:

    Your treatment of bones, “Emerald bones of trumpet vine,” works so well and set the tone for the rest of the poem. I really liked this.

    Thank you Mike, and I hope you have fun with the slant rhyme. I favor it a great deal,

    Elizabeth

    Like

  11. I love all the juxtapositions of the wordle words, to make a cohesive and beautiful whole. Your process notes also read like poetry!

    Tongue in cheek poetry, I hope, Viv. Sometimes the words are wild creatures and simply want to do their own thing. Many times I let them, but occasionally we have to work out a compromise or I’d never get to post at all. Thanks for visiting and glad you liked it,

    Elizabeth

    Like

  12. Tilly Bud says:

    A lovely poem, Elizabeth.

    Why thank you, Tilly Bud.

    Elizabeth

    Like

  13. Tilly Bud says:

    Oops, wrong blog!

    It really can get a bit confusing, can’t it?

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s