For We Write Poems prompt: Piku
About Stillness and Movement
mean standing still.
Elizabeth Crawford 6/1/11
Notes: Realize the syllabics are correct, but not sure about the rest of the form. This started out rather quickly and with smoothness, but didn’t seem to want to stop until it had come full circle. I like what happened, even if it isn’t strictly to the form we were given.
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I don’t know much about this form, but you poem did work well, I thought.
Madeleine, I don’t know much about the form either, plus I forgot to post it. Too many things going on all at the same time. Thanks for stopping by,
I almost forgot to thank you for your fun contribution to this week’s Limerick-Off.
Thanks Madeliene, I enjoy an occasional try at it.
Each section is a condensation of a ‘big idea.’ I think that is the joy of pikus. You brought your ideas full circle. Ah yes, sometimes standing still IS movement…if it is what one needs to do at the time.
Lol, Mary, and especially if it is the one thing one can do with any predictability. Thanks for stopping by. I’m not sure I found joy in the pikus, but I caught something so will probably return to them again,
I like this, Elizabeth. My brain didn’t want to play. Odd, because I like forms, but this was almost too constraining. I forgot my own rule: Break the rules. But you did and the resulting movement of ideas through the poem works well.
Don’t feel bad. I usually struggle to stay in the lines the first time around, until I get frustrated and remember I don’t have to, lol. Glad you liked what happened,
Elizabeth, lovely results here.
Pamela, thank you. Not sure I like the form, but did enjoy the process a bit.
I love it, especially the final stanza.
Yup, my friend, that’s my favorite too, especially getting there, lol.
Mine was generally rather cranky and probably not true to the form, but what the hell, it’s funny! Elizabeth, I liked your segments; you presented your thoughts very nicely! Congrats, Amy
Hi Amy, I read your cranky ones and loved them. Mine are a far more sedate dance, but that is to be expected with age. Thanks for your kind and generous words,
These work well as pairs, Elizabeth. The only thing you didn’t do is find a linking rhyme – and poets are rebellious folk, who like rule-breaking. Mine rhymed up to a point, but I deliberately broke the rule in the middle, just for the hell of it!
Ahh Viv, but we both managed to be exactly who we are despite the rules and whatnot. Thank goodness for that,
Elizabeth, this is very well done. I like the paired pikus in the first two sections. I think my favorite is the first section; I like the contrast. And then in the third section, you bring them together. Okay, the whole thing is my favorite. I love it.
Richard, I’m glad that you do. I am always a bit skeptical when trying new forms. Not of the form itself, but my own understanding of it. Thanks for your encouraging words,
Elizabeth, although you didn’t stick strictly to the prompt, yours is one of my favourite of all I have read so far.
You are spot on with the syllables; the rhyme and the rest of it was just to encourage people to have fun, and not required by the form.
I think this is a cracker.
Tilly Bud, you have to know that I was one of those kids who asked, “Why can’t my trees be red and purple?” In other words, I was often asked why I had to ask so many questions. Am still doing so, thank goodness. Thank you much for your very generous words,
Quite so. I think we somehow were on the same wave length upon writing.
So much can happen when we are waiting or moving. Contrast speaks volumes.
Thanks Renee, contrast is absolutely necessary if we are ever to find balance. Same wave length is good.
I enjoyed this Elizabeth and thought that. . .
mean standing still.
Was a lesson in itself.
There is much wisdom in that. 🙂
Susannah, Actually, I think my Mandalas are getting to me. They are really making me think around corners and take a second look at backgrounds, and what is behind the words. Glad you enjoyed,