The Dream

For The Sunday Whirl: Wordle #54
http://sundaywhirl.wordpress.com/

The Dream

Skipping along cherry lane,
whistling a cheery tune.

Dead-end alley swallowed
in darkness.

Sound of sea is cold blue
with midnight undertow.

Eyes deplete energy in attempt
to see everything, everywhere.

Increments of time squandered
in flashing games of “what if?”

Chest expands to accommodate
rising fear.

Flocks of gulls dive and scream
at fast moving shadows.

Sick green light seeps slowly
toward frozen feet.

Thoughts of what might follow
are desperately squelched.

Pewter chimes ring clearly
through the night.

Thunderous footsteps match
beating of panicked heart.

Intractable dream, like a bullet
skillfully aimed, races straight for fragile
glass ceiling of consciousness.

Elizabeth Crawford  4/28/12

Notes: I owe my inspiration to Paula and her notes last week about the process she used. I took the words, as they came in the email, and tried to create an image for each as they appeared on the list. Three quarters of the way through, I realized I had a nightmare on my hands, which made that last word almost easy. Thanks Paula. But, I also owe some thanks to Brenda and her poem last week. It reminded me of the lyrics in a Peter Gabriel song, “The darkness still has work to do.” I do believe that dreams are often messages, and nightmares are the subconscious means of making sure we are alert and listening.

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About 1sojournal

Loves words and language. Dances on paper to her own inner music. Loves to share and keeps several blogs to facilitate that. They can be found here: http://1sojournal.wordpress.com/ http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/ http://claudetteellinger.wordpress.com/
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13 Responses to The Dream

  1. vivinfrance says:

    Your tech ique (or Paula’s) has worked brilliantly, even if a little scary!

    Thanks Viv, I think it’s all those psychological thrillers I’ve been reading. But I certainly liked the technique, it made my job much easier.

    Elizabeth

  2. Mary says:

    Interesting technique. Must remember to try it. Truly a nightmare. I followed it along with you and could see that after a while the poem seemed to just flow toward its conclusion. Well wordled, Elizabeth.

    Thanks Mary. I was surprised at the flow and it did quicken toward the end. I love it when the words rush to cooperate, lol.

    Elizabeth

  3. The tension builds all the way through this. From a relaxing stroll it becomes a terrifying nightmare of a night.
    Lovely imagery all the way through

    Thank you Daydreamer. I think it had a lot to do with how the words arrived. They certainly seemed to know exactly where they wanted to go and what they wanted to say. Makes the task so much easier.

    Elizabeth

  4. margo roby says:

    I have Paula’s technique noted to try. It’s nice to have a number of door openers to hand.

    The nightmare is quite vivid, not quiet, like a dream might be, but dark and noisy and almost sentient.

    This one was actually fun and I will certainly use the technique again. After writing the list of words, I had only one directive: sense imagery. Thanks for noticing, Margo.

    Elizabeth

  5. annell says:

    Beautifully done, especially the last part, with the shattering of the glass ceiling!

    Annell, that last part really was the easiest. I’ve had a number of nightmares and always feel as though I am exploding back into reality when I finally awaken. Thanks for your comments, my friend.

    Elizabeth

  6. Laurie Kolp says:

    So vivid… I like yours and Paula’s process, will have to try it next time. What works for me is taking the hardest word and using it first.

    http://lkharris-kolp.blogspot.com/2012/04/as-i-watched-you-go.html

    Laurie, there are times when I use that hardest word first as well. Paula’s notes simply stayed with me as something I definitely wanted to try. Thanks so much for your comments,

    Elizabeth

  7. brenda w says:

    Great process notes, Elizabeth, I am thankful for the reference to Peter Gabriel’s Blood of Eden, and to Paula’s technique. It played out skillfully here. I love the last stanza.

    Thanks Brenda. I really admire Gabriel’s work and got a lot from his words. The last stanza was singing in my ear long before I actually got to it. Love it, when that happens.

    Elizabeth

  8. The fantastically well done evolution of a dream…….I LOVE “fragile glass ceiling of consciousness.” Wowzers, kiddo. Great writing.

    And wowzers backatcha for the wonder of it all, my friend. Thanks for stopping in,

    Elizabeth

  9. markwindham says:

    I like the transition from the ‘cheery’ start to the nightmare feel. Also the quick jumps from stanza to stanza, very much like the chaos of a dream.

    Thanks Mark, I really enjoyed your softer take on the words. Once I realized where the words actually wanted to go, I couldn’t do anything except follow. That usually ends in rather strange surprises, sometimes enjoyable, sometimes not so much, lol.

    Elizabeth

  10. Sooo many good lines here, Elizabeth. My fav:
    “Increments of time squandered
    in flashing games of “what if?”
    I am really enjoying seeing you with us on Sundays, my friend.

    Pamela

    Thanks much Pamela, I am enjoying getting my toes wet again. You happen to have picked my fav line as well. Ahhh, the world of great minds, yes?

    Elizabeth

  11. ella says:

    This was amazing! I love the twists and turns you took us on in this format~
    ATB

  12. Patti says:

    Excellent job creating a nightmare. I could feel it build until that moment when self-preservation has you struggling to the suface lest you drown in the fear. Your process worked.

    We all take our inspiration from others. It was nice of you to acknowledge the sources of yours.

  13. Great way to word them!! This is such a real feeling:
    “Chest expands to accommodate
    rising fear.”

    and I like what you did with pewter…

    “Pewter chimes ring clearly
    through the night.”

    I could almost hear them!

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